


Ringing up Death

by Jace_Stump20



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28095552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jace_Stump20/pseuds/Jace_Stump20
Summary: "The telephone bell was ringing wildly, but without result, since there was no one in the room but the corpse."A continuation of the campaign, from the good ending. Non-binary Bell. Warnings so far for transphobia and implied torture, but pay attention to chapters as triggers will come into play later on. UPDATE: Descriptions of graphic content.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 42





	1. Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn a little bit more about what goes on on both sides of the Iron Curtain.

“It was never personal.” Adler seemed regretful as he looked at Bell before pulling out his gun and taking the shot. 

Bell also pulled their weapon, but they couldn’t get off a shot in time. As they fell to the icy ground, memories flooded their head. Memories of Arash shooting them in the Jeep, but Arash’s face blurred and became Adler’s, then Hudson’s. Pain blossomed in their chest, and they fought to stay awake, but eventually became overwhelmed and blacked out. 

The first thing they became aware of was the hard, cold table. Their heart rate increased as they remembered the table at the safehouse. It only went up more when they realized their arms and legs were strapped down. They soon started to hear people talking around them. It wasn’t the voices of their team however, and a small pang of loss hit them right before fear replaced it. If it wasn’t their team...they had been captured by Perseus. 

“Ah, she is awake. Good morning, Lavinia. You gave us quite a scare.” Perseus himself stood over them, addressing them by a name they felt connected to, but hadn’t heard in years. 

“I am sorry about the conditions you find yourself in, but we can’t be too careful. You spent a lot of time in the American scum’s hands after all, and God only knows what lies they’ve told you, and what they did to you. They even convinced you to betray me, to destroy our greatest work. But you have nothing to fear now, my snowdrop. You are home, and you are safe.” 

The more Perseus talked, the more confused Bell became. They knew the memories Adler and his team had planted in them were just that, implanted, but still, they could tell over the weeks as they recovered from the bombing of Solovetsky that the team genuinely seemed to like them, even trust them, despite their past. Yet, Adler had still shot them on the cliff in Antarctica. 

A faint whimper escaped them, and Perseus smiled. “I know, you are probably very confused. You don’t remember me, the love we had, the life we built together. It’s ok. I’m having someone brought here to help you remember. We’ll undo everything they did you to, and we can have our life back. Don’t you want that, Lavinia?” 

“I don’t...I don’t know.” They forced themselves to be honest, but the fear was creeping back up, threatening to fully take hold of them. Why aren’t I dead? I should have died on that cliff...Adler…” Thoughts swirled in their head, mixing and blurring. They were in Vietnam, but then the background shifted to the lab, except there was still gunfire ringing out around them, men screaming in agony, then Adler’s face swam into their vision. “Bell, we have a job to do.” Adler’s voice echoed through their mind, calming them and giving them focus. 

Perseus watched Lavinia as she lay on the table, her face twisting and contorting in sync with her disgusting memories. He hoped whatever the Americans had done to her, he would be able to undo it. His hands reached out, running his fingers through her hair. It was much shorter than he liked on her, but he would fix that. Somewhere, she had gotten it into her head that she didn’t need to be a woman all the time, that she could even be a male. Judging by the length of her hair, and her attire when his men had found her, it seems the Americans had allowed her the freedom to express this idea. It was a ridiculous concept, and, normally, he would have killed her outright for even giving voice to such an idea. However, he had managed to keep her in line and subservient before, this time around it should be even easier. She was already broken. 

“It’s alright, my love. Those memories aren’t real, they cannot hurt you any more.” He spoke soothingly, wanting to keep her calm. Truly, he no longer cared about her. He had ceased to be in love with her at least a month before Arash had failed to kill her on the tarmac. Perseus had known for a long time Lavinia was planning to turn, and he had orchestrated her death. But, as evidenced by her laying on the table before him, she was very hard to kill. Even the Americans couldn’t do it right. 

The Americans. As much as he hated them, he had to admit, they had done him a favor. Sure, Solovetsky was gone, but he had backup plans. By returning Lavinia to him, they had given him a valuable asset, whether or not they had intended to. She knew how they operated; she was useful to him again. So, for the sake of his goals, he would fabricate their relationship again, convince her she loved him, and manipulate her to do what he wanted. A smirk crossed his face as he debated having her pull the trigger on Adler herself. The look of shock on that bastard’s face might even be worth it. 

A whimper of distress from the woman on the table brought him back to the present. Turning to the men in the room, he jerked his hand in her direction. “Sedate her. Find out what she knows. By any means possible.” And with that, he left the room. 

And so began three grueling months of torture. Bell lost track of time, of meaning, of anything beyond the four walls of the room they were stuck in. A room that was either burning hot or freezing cold; a room where the lights never went out; a room with pure white walls and a drain on the hard tile floor. They were fed randomly throughout the day, so they couldn’t even formulate a sense of time. Occasionally, gunfire and the Soviet Anthem blared. Perseus was trying everything in his power to break Lavinia. But she would not crack. Physical pain didn’t bother her, and, despite his initial thoughts, her mental fortitude was surprisingly strong. So all he could do was try and put the pieces together in the best way to hurt her. 

Bell, for their part, was held together by the thinnest string. When they were in their cell, shivering, huddled in a tight ball, barely clinging to their sanity, Adler would appear. A small part of Bell knew it was only their imagination. Adler thought they were dead, no one was coming to save them any more. But even so, just being able to see the man again provided them a sense of comfort. Help them remember the good in life. Hold out on the slim chance they would be recused one day. 

Currently, they were back in their cell after an unknown amount of time strapped to a table and being injected with God knows what. They were naked, their clothes long ago shredded to rags, tears running down their cheeks that they tried to hide. 

“Hey kid, you look like shit.” That familiar voice that was both a balm to their frayed nerves and a jolt of pain through their heart spoke, and Bell knew if they lifted their head they would see Adler. Footsteps approached where they were curled up, and Bell felt a hand on their back, rubbing soothing circles. “You’re doing such a good job. I know how hard this shit is, but you’re handling it like a fucking champ.” 

“If I’m handling it so well, why am I imagining you here?” Bell rationalized internally, only to be rewarded with a small chuckle from Adler. 

“Ok kid, I’ll give you that. But remember, we have a job to do. Keep it professional and stay frosty.” 

“Yes Sir.” Bell uncurled slightly, taking a deep breath as they calmed down. Whatever happened to them was nothing. It didn’t matter. What mattered was not betraying their family. And they could hold out forever to protect their family. Even if it meant playing a broken wreck, playing at having nothing left. 

Back in America, Russel Adler paced in front of yet another evidence board, cigarette between his teeth, and a bottle of whiskey on the desk with a glass next to it. The trail on Perseus had gone cold almost as soon as he had killed Bell on that cliff. He knew it was too early to tie off that loose end, but Hudson was adamant about Bell dying. And now, here they were, three months later, no new leads and Adler was worried if they didn’t come up with something soon, Regan would pull his team. 

Speaking of his team, the phone on his desk rang. Adler jumped to answer it, heart racing. “Adler.” 

“Hey, it’s Woods, checking in.” Adler breathed a sigh, unsure if it was one of relief or regret. He had sent Woods and Mason out into the field to try and catch any kind of lead. Each man had orders to check in every two days. So far, it had all been a wash. He didn’t expect this time to be any different. 

“I might have found something.” Those five words caused Adler to straighten up, his hand tightening around the phone handle. 

“What do you have?” He kept his voice even, but he had to admit his heart was pounding harder at those words. 

“It’s not much. But I overheard some soldiers the other day talking about some prisoner in a camp not too far from here. Sounds like they arrived about three months ago. And, it sounds like our man was there around that time too. Rumor has it he might still be there, overseeing the torture of this prisoner.” 

“See if you can find out anything else. Call Mason, I want you two tag-teaming this until you can bring me some solid intel.” Adler’s tone was much more clipped now, and he put out his cigarette with more force than was perhaps necessary. 

“You got it,” Woods said before disconnecting the call. 

“Don’t think about it. It isn’t them. You killed them. They’re gone.” Adler tried, unsuccessfully, to tell himself as he poured another glass of whiskey. "But that was three months ago. It’s not like you stuck around to confirm they actually died. And who else could Perseus himself want to torture?” Another small voice argued back. Knocking back the shot to try and drown out the voices, Adler stood up and went back to pacing in front of the evidence board, the images on it the only memories he had of Bell. 

For his part, Frank was wishing he’d had more to give Adler than a faint hope. He left the payphone and headed back to his small apartment. He couldn’t help but follow the same train of thought as the other man, hoping it was Bell, knowing it probably wasn’t, but arguing with himself that it could be. Tomorrow he would reach out to Mason, calling him back from Germany, and they would head out to Siberia together. If it was Bell in there...well, reality dictated only one thing. 

If Bell was still alive, they would have to be killed. For good this time. Yet Woods knew no one on their team, aside from Hudson, would be willing to pull the trigger again. It was impossible Bell had survived three months of Russian torture and not talked, yet...there had been no sign of any Soviet or Perseus agents acting on new orders. If Bell had talked, it stood to reason their team would be being hunted by now. 

"They could already be dead." Frank pushed the thought away, but he couldn’t hide from it forever. Honestly, that might be for the best, for them to get there and Bell to already be dead. At least none of the team would have to live with having been the one to kill them. 

If, by some fucking miracle, they had survived and hadn’t talked...maybe that would be enough proof to keep Bell alive and on their team. Adler hadn’t been wrong, Bell was still their best lead to Perseus. It would be stupid to think a man like him didn’t have backup plans. Plus, he still had access to Greenlight nukes. All they had done was dismantle the towers. Park and Lazar were currently away tracking down the various nukes and taking them offline, but the threat remained. 

Moving on autopilot, still lost in thought, Woods unlocked the door to his apartment and tensed. Something was wrong. Not turning on any light, his hand went to the concealed 1911 he kept under his jacket, drawing the gun and releasing the safety as he slowly entered the small apartment, closing the door behind him with no sound. As quietly as he could, he began to make his way into each room, sweeping for bugs and personnel until he had made it to the living room. The first thing he noticed was the figure sitting on the couch. The second thing he noticed was a very familiar snore coming from said couch figure. 

Returning the gun to its holster, Woods flipped on the light, revealing Alex Mason, somehow fast asleep on his couch. 

“Jesus, gave me a fucking heart attack. How the hell’d you get in here anyway?” Woods exclaimed loudly, waking Mason up. 

“Huh...Woods...back!” Still muddled with sleep, Mason tried to form a coherent sentence and failed miserably. 

“Wake up, boy scout. You’ve got some explaining to do.” As he was talking, Woods made his way over to the kitchenette, opening the fridge and pulling out stuff to make two sandwiches. “You hungry? I got meat, cheese, butter and something that barely passes as bread.” Woods held up the hard loaf of bread that was all he could get with the rationing going on at the moment. 

“Hnng...Yeah, a sandwich sounds good. Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Jet lag’s a bitch.” Now more awake, Mason stood up, stretched, and followed Woods to the kitchen, leaning up against the counter. 

“Yeah, about that. I was gonna call you tomorrow to come over, but how the fuck did you manage to get here first?” Woods looked over at Mason as he spread some butter over slices of the bread. 

“I found something. Something you need to see.” Mason was all serious now, the joking tone from before gone. 

“So did I.” Woods added the meat and cheese, closing off the sandwiches and handing one plate to Mason. “You first though.” 

“So, I was hanging out in a bar in East Berlin, and these Soviet soldiers came in. I happened to be sitting near them, but I was in shadow so they couldn’t see me. They were talking about some prison camp in Siberia. Apparently they were stationed at that camp, or at least that’s what I inferred based on their conversation. But then one of them asked the others if they knew anything about the prisoner on the west side of the camp, and got told to shut up. Someone muttered it was a death sentence to talk about Perseus’s plaything, and they changed the topic soon after.” 

Chewing on his sandwich, Woods nodded before swallowing and responding. “That actually lines up with what I was going to tell you. I also overheard some Soviets talking about a prisoner in a camp in Siberia. Said they arrived about three months ago, and Perseus showed up not long after.” 

Silence filled the kitchen for a moment as both men put the pieces together, then in unison, they both spoke. “Bell.” 

“We have to tell Adler-” Mason started at the same time Woods spoke; 

“We can’t know for sure-” 

Both of them broke off, staring at the other. 

“Adler needs to be there to extract them. Who knows what condition they’re in, they’ll need their handler. I know I did, as much as I hate to admit it. Mk-Ultra isn’t just something you get over, Woods.” 

“Alex…” Woods trailed off for a second before putting a hand on his old friends shoulder. “We can’t know for sure it’s Bell. God, I hope it is, I really do, but Adler seemed pretty convinced they were dead. Even if it is...we don’t know if they talked. If they’ve been compromised, they die. That’s how it always has been. We’ll tell Adler, let him make the call. If Bell is alive, if they haven’t talked, if Adler deems them stable enough, then we’ll do whatever it takes to bring them home.” 

Mason just nodded, shoulders sagging. “I know. We can talk to Adler tomorrow, right? I’m too tired to do anything right now.” 

Woods felt a jolt of sympathy go through him at how defeated Mason looked. With everything that had happened lately, it was easy to forget Alex was dealing with ghosts of his own. Of course he would feel a kinship with the former Soviet agent. 

“Yeah, go get some rest. Take the bed, I’ll camp out on the couch tonight.” His voice was softer than it had been in a long time, and he gently pushed Mason towards the bedroom. 

Once Mason was settled, Woods lay down on the couch, starting up at the ceiling. He really hoped Bell would be able to be saved. 

The next morning dawned and, after a breakfast of eggs and black coffee, Woods and Mason headed back to the payphone. Mason stayed outside while Woods dialed the familiar number, listening to the phone ring. 

“Adler.” The voice on the other end sounded more tired than usual, and Woods grimaced sympathetically. 

“Hey, it’s Woods. I’ve got Mason here, he needs to tell you something.” Woods waved Mason in as he spoke, handing the phone off to him and taking his former place outside. 

Unable to hear anything, Woods was dependent on Mason’s facial expressions to get any information he could. There was just one problem with that. Mason wasn’t very expressive. So Woods was left trying to read the other’s lips to figure out what was being discussed. It was a painful ten minutes before Mason hung up and stepped out. 

“Well?” Frank was hardly able to contain himself as they walked back to the apartment. 

“Adler will be here by tomorrow. Then we’re gearing up and going in. We’re gonna save Bell.”


	2. Corpses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things don't always go as planned, and things aren't always what they seem

“I will only ask one more time. What does Adler know about my plans?” Perseus’s voice cut through Bell’s brain like a knife as he prepared the wires again, attaching them to Bell’s arms. 

The wires dug in, adding to the cuts and bruises already adorning their arms, which were thin as sticks since Perseus hadn’t fed them enough in weeks. Perseus didn’t do this type of torture often, he knew Bell was too weak to survive too many shocks, but he was growing impatient with the lack of answers. Bell was determined to keep him that way. A frustrated Perseus could make mistakes, mistakes which Bell might be able to profit from, if they could find the chance. 

“I don’t know...! Anything he told me was erased when I was in recovery...!” Bell could barely talk, their voice nearly gone after months of screaming in agoy during torture. They still hadn’t broken though, hadn’t given up Adler and the rest of the team, hadn’t told Persues anything he had wanted to know. 

“Wrong answer.” Perseus said coldly, attaching the other end of the wires to a car battery, sending a powerful jolt of electricity through Bell’s body, which was already wet from the waterboarding earlier. “It brings me no pleasure to torture you like this, Lavinia. If you just told me what I wanted to know, we could have everything back. Our life, our home, good food, warm clothes. All you have to do is tell me what I want to know. What do you get from protecting Adler and his men like this? They’re not going to save you. You mean nothing to them.” 

Bell coughed, blood spilling from their lips. “If I knew what you wanted, I would tell you. But I don’t know!” They pleaded, trying to sound convincing. 

“I very much doubt that. However, you won’t last much longer. While I would hate to kill someone as beautiful as you, if you don’t give me what I want, I will have run out of uses for you.” His hand trailed over her broken, battered body as he spoke, smirking a bit at the way she recoiled from his touch. 

A knock on the door interrupted anything else he was planning to do, as a soldier came in. “Sir, there’s something you should know.” 

“Very well.” Perseus unchained Lavinia from the table, “Let me put this away and you can tell me.” He dragged her back to her cell and locked the door behind him, before returning to the soldier. 

“What is it? You know I’m not to be disturbed while I’m working.” His glare almost made the other man have second thoughts.

“We have reports Adler and his men are in the area. We have reason to believe they’ll be attacking here, possibly to get the prisoner back.” 

Perseus stroked his beard, listening to the soldier talk. “I see. Alert the rest of the camp. Tell them if they do come, they are not to be stopped. We finally have a chance to end Adler and his team for good. I need to make preparations. Tell me as soon as they are sighted: we have much to do.” With that, he turned back to Lavinia’s cell, opening the door once again and closing it behind him as she began to scream once more. 

The train station was packed, despite it being so early in the morning. Commuters, soldiers, and passengers from all over the Soviet bloc were embarking and disembarking from various trains. 

Mason and Woods stood off to the side on the platform awaiting the 8:50am train from Poland that Adler would be on. Give that man credit, he could drop everything at a moment’s notice and make his way to Russia in a day when he needed to. 

As soon as they had returned to Wood’s apartment last night, the two had begun planning how to go about gathering intel on the camp. Things like guard rosters, a map of the camp, numbers, locations of the armory, mess, barracks, anything that could help. It would be a btich to get intel like that, but between the three of them, they’d make it work. They knew full well going in half cocked could get Bell killed, but none of them wanted to wait any longer. Each day that passed with Bell in those bastard’s hands was another day Bell could talk. 

A staticy announcement rang out over the station’s speakers and Mason jabbed Wood’s side. “Train’s here,” He muttered. In unison, the two moved closer, eyes scanning the crowd of waiting passengers and families. 

The train came to a stop, and people began pouring out. Cries of greeting rose from the crowd as family members found each other, the noise on the platform swelling with conversations as people caught up, asking about the trip, any news from other family members back home and the like. 

It was Woods who spotted Adler first. He cut through the crowd with Mason on his heels until they reached the man. No words were exchanged. Alder just picked up his leather duffel bag and together the three men left the station, starting the walk back to Wood’s apartment. 

Only once they were safely inside did the conversation start. 

“So, what do we know about this camp?” Adler asked, unpacking the duffel bag which contained a few hidden side-arms and some more powerful automatics hidden under clothes. 

“Not much at the moment. We haven’t had a lot of time to get intel. We know about where it is, and a rough estimate of the size, but that’s about it.” Woods directed Adler’s attention to a small map of Russia on the north wall of his living room. There was a small circle indicating the city they were in, then a line to a much larger circle in the middle of the Siberian wilderness. “It’s about a day’s trip from here by car. Longer if we want to be stealthy.” 

“We’ll steal a car. I’m not leaving Bell in Persues’s hands any longer than I have to.” There was a surprising amount of venom in Adler’s voice, and both men reacted to it. 

“If you can’t handle this, why did you come?” Woods demanded, anger rising in his chest. 

“Frank, lay off,” Mason spoke up, stepping between Woods and Adler, before turning to address the scarred man. “You feel guilty, don’t you? If you hadn’t listened to Hudson and shot Bell on the cliff, none of this would have happened. I may not agree with your actions in regards to brainwashing Bell, but I can’t deny you seem to care about them. That’s the only reason I haven’t acted on my feelings to beat you senseless for what you did. So enough bullshitting, enough guilt. It won’t solve the problem any faster. We need to focus on the job. Let’s get Bell back.” 

Silence permeated the apartment for several seconds before Adler spoke. “You’re right. I do feel guilty. Not just for shooting them on that cliff, but for even brainwashing them to begin with. It had to be done--that’s what I told myself--but now I see there were other ways of getting information. If I had known they would have willingly given everything up for sanctuary...it’s not like we didn’t have the means to protect them.” He straightened his shoulders and met Mason’s gaze. The other man tactfully didn’t comment on the slight moisture he could see forming in Adler’s eyes. Adler probably thought his aviators hid the tears, but Mason knew him well enough to look past the glasses. Taking a deep breath so that his voice wouldn’t break, Adler carried on; 

“The past is in the past, and there’s no changing it. I’ll have to live with what I did to that kid for the rest of my life. Right here, right now, this is our chance to make it better. We can’t erase the past, but we can change the future. We can bring Bell home and give them a better life.” 

“Yeah, let’s go save Bell. Bring them home again. Despite what they might have done in the past, their actions while they were part of our team have shown they deserve a better life. Just because they’ve done bad things doesn’t make them a bad person. Doesn’t mean they deserve whatever hell they’re being put through right now. So let’s get to work,” Woods spoke up, not wanting to be left out. 

It took the three of them about two weeks to gather the intel they needed. Lots of breaking into Soviet offices, following soldiers back from bars and patrols, and scoping out escape routes. And areas for evac. 

The interior of Frank’s apartment became overrun with maps, charts, rosters, and other pieces of intel, until finally they had come up with a solid idea of the base’s layout and troop movements. 

It was the night before they planned to leave, and Adler was giving them all one last run down of the plan. 

“Bell is being kept on the westernmost side of the camp,” The main entrance in and out is along the eastern side. The whole camp is surrounded by a chain link electric fence 20 feet high and covered in barbed wire, making the main entrance the only way in or out. That means we’ll have to travel across about 50 feet of open ground in order to get to the building where Bell is being kept. Impersonating guards isn’t going to work this time around since Lubianka all guards are required to wear personalized ID tags. So, we’ll have to go in at dawn, during the last guard rotation of the night. Use the darkness as cover and hopefully we’ll make it inside before it gets too light. Once inside, it’s a three story building full of cells and torture chambers. We don’t know the interior layout, so we’ll be on our own inside. Our main goals are to avoid being seen, and get Bell out as quickly as possible. Once we’ve made it out safely, we’ll assess Bell’s mental state and possibility of compromise and act accordingly. I think we can all agree it would be pointless to waste time assessing Bell before we leave, every second we spend in the base is a second too long.” 

“I just hope we don’t have to kill them at all,” Mason muttered. 

“We all hope that, Alex. But we have to face facts here,” Woods interjected. 

“Enough talk. We’d better start getting ready,” Adler ordered. 

Without another word, the three men grabbed their various guns, hiding them under bulky coats as they shut off the lights to the apartment for the last time and made their way down to the street. 

It was a long, cold journey with all three of them crammed in a stolen UAZ-469, but no one complained. Adler drove for the first 8 hours, then swapped over to Mason, and then Woods until the camp was finally in sight. 

Woods parked the stolen vehicle about a mile out, hiding it behind a sheet of ice so it wouldn’t draw attention. 

“There’s still an hour before dawn. Plenty of time,” Woods whispered as they all geared up for the second time, leaving the car behind as they started across the frozen wasteland. 

Spotlights swept over the icy plain in intervals, and they could see guards pacing along platforms attached to the fence. Snow had begun to fall, which would provide them some cover and hide their tracks, but it also lowered visibility for them. 

As they made their final approach, the sky began to turn from an inky black to a deep blue, indicating dawn was approaching. They were close enough now to hear the Russians’ voices on the wind, and after a bit, they heard the bell signaling the guard rotation. 

“Now!” Adler whispered, and the three men made a break for the front gate, slipping inside right before the new guards came on duty. 

Now came the hard part, as they made their way across the camp, moving painfully slow so as not to be detected. However, they did notice the camp seemed quieter than their intel would have led them to believe. Which could only mean- 

“We’re being led into a trap. Stay alert, it’s too late to go back now. We’re still going to complete the objective.” Adler’s toneless whisper hardly carried to his two companions, much less anyone else nearby. 

The big building loomed ahead of them, dark and ominous in the grey light of dawn. Knowing they were being baited, Adler no longer found it suspicious there were no guards at the front door. Instead, he and the others snuck in without a problem, pausing just inside the door to take in their surroundings. What they saw made their blood boil. 

The door they had entered through opened into a lobby of sorts, with staircases on either side leading up to various levels of cells and rooms. Kneeling in the middle of the lobby, naked except for a pair of earmuffs and handcuffs, blindfolded, and gagged, was Bell. Their body was emaciated, covered in burns, cuts, and bruises. They were shivering, though from cold or fear it was hard to tell. Tears ran down their face under the blindfold. 

Standing behind them, with a gun held to the back of their head, was Perseus himself. 

“Ahh, Adler. You never fail to disappoint. Welcome. I trust your journey was comfortable?” 

“Cut the shit-” Adler began, only to break off as Perseus kicked Bell, sending them sprawling. 

“Behave yourself. Or your little toy gets more broken.” Perseus’s voice was cold as he hauled Bell back into a kneeling position. “Did you really think I would make it so easy for you to get to her? Think about it, if I’m so willing to let you see her, I must have a reason, no?” He laughed, grabbing Bell by the scruff of their neck, putting away the gun and drawing a knife. “Oh Adler, if only you had been here to hear your little Bell sing. Before I silence them forever.” With that he drew the knife across Bell’s throat, making them cry out, an odd, gurgling sound as their hands tried to wrap around their throat, but they couldn’t thanks to the handcuffs. They were left gasping for air as their body went into shock, momentarily making them black out. 

Perseus looked them over one more time, seeing if he’d gotten deep enough to actually kill them before dropping them to the ground as guards emerged on the various balconies and opened fire onto Adler and his men. 

“Woods, get Bell! Mason and I will cover you!” Adler ordered, shooting at the guards. 

In the chaos of the firefight, and the drive to get Bell to safety as soon as possible, no one noticed Perseus slipping away. Woods sprinted forward, grabbing the kid and heaving them over his shoulders before the four of them made a mad dash for the door. 

Outside, the camp was in chaos. Guards were opening fire at Adler’s team as they ran, and the sound of a helicopter could be heard taking off nearby. Soon after it did, bullets began to rain down on them, making them have to resort to desperate sprints from cover to cover while the chopper’s gun re-loaded. 

No one could recall how they managed to make it out of the base and back to the safety of the UAZ. Everything was a blur of noise and snow, until they found themselves back at the Jeep. They could see guards leaving the base in Jeeps and snowmobiles of their own, so Woods set Bell in the backseat and kept pressure on the wound while Mason shot and Alder drove. 

“How the fuck are we gonna get out of this?” Woods yelled over the wind and the gunfire as they drove down the tundra. 

“Don’t worry! I’ve got Park and Lazar standing by for evac! We just have to make it to the LZ!” Adler yelled back, drifting the UAZ sideways so Mason could get off a better shot. The motion jostled Woods and he nearly lost his grip on Bell. 

“Easy, Adler! Bell’s fragile right now!” 

“I’m doing the best I can!” Adler yelled back. 

“Just drive carefully!” Woods screamed. He glanced down at Bell, not liking how pale their skin was. Shedding his jacket, he draped it over their naked body, taking out the gag and blindfold, repurposing the latter as a makeshift bandage for their neck. There was nothing he could do about the handcuffs until they were in a more stable place though. 

Bell’s eyes fluttered weakly before they opened, wildly looking around until their gaze settled on Woods. Shock filled their face, and they tried to speak, only to make a rasping gurgle and wince in pain. 

“Easy, kid. Perseus slit your throat. You’re gonna have to keep quiet and still until we can get you safe. Can you do that for me?” Woods kept his voice calm as he gently caressed Bell’s face. “It’s ok. You’re safe. We’ve got you, and this time, we’re not gonna let you go. We should never have let you go the first time. But we’re gonna make up for that, ok? For everything.” 

Bell was crying again, bound hands blindly reaching for something. Woods grabbed their hand in his own, squeezing it. “Shhh. I know you’ve been through a lot, but it’s over now.” 

“Coming up on the LZ. Woods, how’s Bell doing?” 

At the sound of Adler’s voice, Bell gave a strangled cry and tried to sit up. 

“No! Dammit, Bell, lay down! You’re just gonna hurt yourself worse! Yes, Adler’s here. Mason is too. And we’re gonna see Park and Lazar in a bit. We’re all fine. You’re not.” Woods tried to keep his tone calm as he put his hands on Bell’s shoulders and pushed them back down, before turning slightly to answer Adler’s question. “As you can tell, they’re awake.” 

A few more minutes of driving later, Adler started to slow the UAZ down, scanning the sky for something. 

“Here we are!” Adler called out, and the others could see the small helicopter landing as they pulled up nearby. Woods picked up Bell again, wrapping his coat tighter around them as he carried them on board, followed by Adler and Mason. 

Once everyone was secure, Lazar took off again. Woods set Bell down on the floor of the chopper, and Adler sat next to them. In the safety of the helicopter, Adler gave in to his worry and let his shoulders sag as pain and guilt lined his facial features so deeply even his aviators couldn’t hide it. He reached out, hesitant, giving Bell the chance to move away. When they didn’t, he put a hand on the other’s shoulder, meeting their panicked gaze for the first time since the cliff. 

“Bell, I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, continued thanks to my amazing beta reader, whom without I wouldn't be able to make the story half as good as it is.


	3. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all get a bit of a breather before shit gets real again

It seemed to take forever to get Bell to the safe house.

By the time they had gotten Bell settled onto a gurney in the chopper, they were unconscious again. During the ride, they kept drifting in and out, body trembling as they fought to survive, each breath a struggle. Adler never left their side, not bothering to hide his worry. Wood's coat wasn't warm enough, so Adler shed his own jacket and bundled Bell carefully into both. That, at least, eased their shivers a little. 

Once on board, it was easier to get Bell some help. Not knowing what state they'd find Bell in, Park had ordered a medical chopper on standby. Bell was sedated, and treatment began. It was rudimentary field medicine, nothing too complicated, but anything helped at this point. Most of Bell's injuries were so old they would need more advanced treatment. 

It was the neck wound that was proving to be the challenge and immediate problem. Park was able to stop the bleeding and wrap up the wound, but she voiced her concerns about how well Bell would be able to speak again. 

Even sedated, Bell wasn't peaceful. The drugs only trapped them in nightmares, making them cry out and thrash around. Park wanted to strap them down, but both Mason and Adler stopped that idea cold. 

"Are you fucking INSANE? With the PTSD they already have, you want to strap them to a fucking gurney?!?" Mason yelled, glaring at Park as he got to his feet, ready to stop her if he had to. 

"I have to agree with Mason on this. We can't risk triggering Bell anymore right now. Who knows what they went through or what will set them off." While Adler managed to sound more professional in his rebuff, there was a steely undertone to his voice that made it clear there would be no argument. “If they get out of control, we still have the trigger phrase. I don’t want to have to use it, but I will if I need to.” 

Mason sat back down, still glaring at Park. Woods rubbed his arm, trying to soothe him as best as he could. “She didn’t mean anything malicious by it. She’s trying to help, she just forgot.” 

“I know. Sorry Park.” Mason seemed defeated again, pressing closer to Woods. 

“It’s alright, Mason. You’re just trying to protect your teammate. And you’re right. I was being insensitive to Bell’s trauma.” Park’s voice was professional, but her tone was warm, showing she had no hard feelings. 

“Hey, not to interrupt or anything, but did we have a destination in mind, or am I flying until we run out of fuel?” Lazar spoke up from the cockpit. 

“Take us back to the safehouse. We’ll move on to another one once Bell’s more stable,” Adler decided. 

“What about if Bell’s compromised? I mean, Perseus himself practically admitted they talked, and he has to have some reason why he literally gave them back.” Woods didn’t sound thrilled to have to point it out, but he felt it should be said. 

“Perseus only implied Bell talked, and even then, it was probably said to make us think they had and argue amongst ourselves. If Bell really talked, none of us would have made it into that camp. I don’t deny he has a reason for giving them back, but we can figure that out once Bell is safe. For now, we have the trigger phrase and drugs to keep them sedated. I don’t like this any more than any of you, but if it keeps us all safe, then it’s what has to be done.” As Adler spoke, he kept looking at Bell laying on the gurney, pale skin showing everything Persues had done to them, eyelids fluttering with nightmares he could only begin to imagine. “Doesn’t change the fact that they’re one of us, and we do whatever it takes to protect our own.” 

The rest of the journey was spent in silence aside from Bell’s occasional cries and whimpers. Adler stayed by their side, holding their hand and doing his best to keep them calm without needing the trigger phrase. 

Lazar landed them at an airport in West Berlin as close to the safehouse as he could, and Sims was waiting for them there with a truck. With Mason’s help, Adler took the gurney and loaded it into the bed of the truck, then stayed with Bell as Mason, Lazar and Park climbed into the cab. 

It was a cold trip back to the familiar safehouse, snow falling in the streets. people were going about their business, not paying any attention to the truck diving past them They were hunched into their coats to protect against the bitter chill, eyes cast downward. 

Night was falling by the time Sims parked the truck outside the safehouse, pulling right inside so Bell wouldn’t have to be moved any more than necessary. 

“Woods, get a fire going. We need to warm this place up.” Adler started giving orders as soon as they were inside. “Park, we need blankets, stat. Sims has money set aside, get as many as you can. I’m sorry we couldn’t drop you off in town.” 

“It’s fine. It’s not too far. I’ll take the spare car and be back in about an hour and a half.” Park grabbed the money Adler had indicated and bundled up, heading out. 

“Lazar, Sims, I need your help with Bell. We’re gonna need as much medicine, bandages and morphine as we can. Sims, I trust you can acquire those, Lazar, you’re gonna help me get started with what we have.” 

“What about me?” Mason asked, looking at Adler. 

“You are going to stay right by my side and if Bell starts having a bad reaction, you’re gonna help me pull them back. You’ve been through this, you’re my most valuable resource in rehabilitating Bell, but can you also get the cot out of the back room and bring it out here? I think we should keep Bell as close to the fire as we can, and I don’t want them waking up in the back room. There should also be extra clothes for them back there.” 

Mason nodded, heading to the small room in the back that doubled as Adler’s private office and the med bay. Woods followed to help him after finishing with the barrel fire they used with a space heater to keep the place warm. Together the two of them managed to drag the cot out, setting it up so the desks and the evidence board formed a ring around it. There weren’t many blankets on the cot at the moment, but that would be fixed when Park got back. Mason also found a spare set of clothes, a plain cotton shirt and a pair of pants. 

While they had been doing that, Adler had stripped Bell of the two coats and had begun fixing them up. In the bright overhead lights, it was clear just how badly Perseus had wanted information out of them. Their body was thin, clearly exposing just how many bones had been broken; their ribs, their left leg, their right arm, their nose, and several fingers on both hands. The deep gashes in their arms where Perseus had dug the wires into were still bleeding, and so many bruises molted their body their skin seemed more black and blue than anything else. That was just the physical damage. Adler and the others knew as soon as Bell was allowed to be awake again, the mental damage would come out in full. 

After about 20 minutes, Adler felt like he had done all he could for Bell. He’d cleaned them up as carefully as he could, sewing closed all the wounds he needed to, including the gash on their neck, and covering them with bandages. Once he was satisfied with his treatment, he carefully dressed them in the extra clothes and settled them onto the cot. 

The door opened again, indicating Sims’s return with the extra medicine. 

“Thank you.Go ahead and put them in the back room for me.” Adler spoke from Bell’s bedside. 

Sims nodded and headed to the back room to put away the extra supplies. 

Not long after, Park showed up again, shaking snow out of her hair as she entered. “Got the blankets. Didn’t take as long as I expected, traffic was light because of the weather.” As she was talking, she carried the blankets over to Adler, then spoke again. 

“I just figured I’d give you fair warning; Hudson is on his way here. Something tells me you didn’t clue him in onto this little venture, so you might want to brace for impact.” 

“So, the bastard figured out what we’ve done. I have to say, I’m impressed with his speed. Alright, let’s get Bell taken care of, and we’ll make a plan.” 

Once Bell was safely tucked into bed, the blankets tight enough to keep them from moving around and hurting themselves without the actual use of restraints, Adler began to plan for Hudson’s arrival. 

“Woods, Mason, you’re on guard duty. Hudson doesn’t get anywhere near Bell, you understand? Let’s put them in my office, it’ll be safer. I want Woods to stay in the main room, but keep an eye on Hudson’s movements. Mason, you’re inside with Bell. If they wake up or start having an attack, you talk them down. Lazar, Sims, you’re with me to try and negotiate with Hudson. We need to reinforce that Bell was too dangerous to have been left in Perseus’s hands, and that they’re still useful to us. Park, just keep a general eye on things and intervene where you think it’s needed.” 

“Sure thing,” Park said. “But, if I may ask, why didn’t you tell Hudson about going to rescue Bell?” 

“I have my reasons. Now’s not the time to go into the-- there isn’t time--but I promise I’ll tell you all later.” As he was talking, Adler took one side of the cot, Mason grabbing the other, and they carried Bell into the back room. Once they were inside, Adler closed off all the curtains so no one could see inside, then turned to the figure on the cot. 

“Job’s over, Bell. Get some rest.” It was a secondary trigger phrase no one else knew about, designed for if Bell was ever too injured to be awake. “There. That should keep them calm, depending on how long Hudson stays. If they start to come around, use it again.” 

“You got it.” Mason said determinedly, looking Bell over as Adler left the room, shutting the door tightly behind him. 

Not more than an hour later, Hudson was walking through the safehouse doors, looking pissed. 

“You told me you’d killed them!” Were the first words out of his mouth, glaring at Adler. 

“I thought I had. How was I supposed to know the Russians were going to follow us to the fucking Artic Circle and grab what was going to be a corpse.” Adler’s tone was just as accusatory, and he kept himself between Hudson and the door to the room Bell lay. 

“Well, where are they now? The least you could do is finish them off properly this time.” 

“That’s out of the question. As I told you the first time you suggested killing them. Bell still has use.”

Lazar and Sims stepped closer to Adler, presenting a united front. 

“Adler’s right. Bell still had a lot of knowledge on Perseus. You were the only one so insistent on killing them,” Sims spoke up, crossing his arms as he did. 

“Bell didn’t talk. Three months of hell, and they never said a word about our operations. They’re still loyal to us,” Lazar added, glaring at Hudson. 

“They’re still loyal because of the brainwashing! You don’t know what Perseus has done to them in those three months!” Hudson was yelling now, stepping closer towards Adler and the back room. 

“Bell is one of us, regardless of circumstances. We weren’t going to leave them in Soviet hands once we found out they were alive. We’d do the same for any of us. Or at least, I thought we would. Go home, Hudson. You’re not welcome on my team any more.” 

“The President will hear about this! I’ll make sure of that!” Hudson threatened, stepping forward again. 

“Go ahead. When he calls me, I have some very interesting intel he might want to know.” Adler pulled out his cigarette box, opening it and pulling one out as he spoke. “I’d suggest leaving while I’m still feeling tolerant.” 

“What could you possibly know?” Hudson asked, stepping forward again, trying to box Adler in and intimidate him. 

Woods finally stepped forward, coming out of the shadows and putting himself right in Hudson’s face. “Didn’t you hear Adler? Fuck. Off. I’d love an excuse to hurt you after everything you put Mason through.” 

“I did warn you to be careful, Hudson. That next time I might not stop Woods.” Adler commented, lighting up his cigarette. 

“You’re all traitors to America! You won’t live to see the end of the year!” Hudson blustered as he was pushed backwards out of the safe house by Woods. 

“Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” Adler said once the door was shut and locked behind Hudson. 

“What intel do you have?” Sims asked once Hudson was gone, leaning against his desk. Lazar went over to his locker and grabbed some of his snacks, while Park headed over to the weapons, taking inventory. 

“I don’t have much evidence to back it up yet, Bell has the last piece of the puzzle I need. But I have fairly good reason to suspect Hudson’s a double agent. It would make sense why he was so opposed to other intelligence agencies working with us, explain his list of contacts no one knows about, and why most of our missions into Russia went fubar. Including all the shit with Bell and Mason.” 

“You know, the more I think about it, the more sense that makes.” Sims commented, lighting up a cigarette of his own. 

“So why let him walk out?” Lazar inquired. 

“Because like I said, I don’t have concrete proof. I need Bell, former memories fully returned, to confirm having seen Hudson around Perseus. Or something equally as damning before I can take this to the President.” 

The creaking of the back room door opening brought the current conversation to a pause as everyone turned to look at Mason, stepping into the main room. 

The first thing Bell became aware of, as always, was the voices. It sounded like a lot of yelling, though they couldn’t make out any words. They could at least tell it was English this time, and confusion overtook them. The next thing they became aware of was that they couldn’t move, but they weren’t restrained. They seemed to be lying in a bed, blankets tucked around them. They were also wearing clothes again, and it seemed like their injuries had been treated. 

Movement nearby made them stir, whimpering softly as they expected pain. 

“Oh shit, they’re waking up.” A familiar voice spoke nearby, and if Bell could have jumped in shock, they would have. That was Mason, they’d know that voice anywhere. Straining their ears, they heard footsteps get up and head away from them, then a door opened and Mason spoke again.

“Adler, Bell’s coming around.” Another jolt of shock went through them at Adler’s name. 

Whatever Perseus was doing to them, their brain must be working overtime to protect them. Usually they just got Adler in their hallucinations, but this time Mason was there too. They whimpered again, unable to open their eyes just yet, stuck just listening to everything that happened. 

“Coming.” Adler’s voice, as ever, was both a comfort and a painful reminder of what could never be. “You can fill Mason in later, but not a word of what we discussed leaves this building. It’s clear of bugs, but this is the only place I’m sure of for now.” Bell was confused about what Adler was saying. Fill Mason in on what? Where were they? Memories began to swirl in their head, confusing them and making them whimper again. Two sets of footsteps approached the room, followed by the scraping sound of a chair being dragged across the floor, and then Alder spoke again, sounding like he was right next to Bell. “I didn’t want this room to be the first thing you saw. I didn’t want you to have to relive all the memories right off the bat. I’m sorry.” 

The confusion was too much, and Bell forced themselves out of the fog that had taken over their mind, wrenching open their eyes to see the familiar overhead lights of the safehouse, and Adler and Mason next to them, the former sitting down and the latter standing. Both men looked equally worried, then Adler spoke. 

“Don’t try and talk, just nod or shake your head, do you understand?” His voice was gentle but commanding, and it made Bell want to react, despite the confusion still filling them. They managed a weak nod, eyes not leaving Adler’s. 

“Good. Do you know where you are?” That was a more difficult question for Bell, and they had to take a moment to think it over. This felt real, but their brain was good at tricking them. For all they knew, they were still back in the Soviet base. Or had that all been a bad dream? After all, wasn’t one of the last memories they had before waking up in the Soviet base being in this room, recovering from injuries? Could they really have dreamed up everything that had happened with Persues? It didn’t seem likely...at this point, Bell was so confused. Nothing made sense to them anymore, and they wanted to cry with the frustration they felt. 

“Why are they taking so long? Bell, I asked you a question. Come on, kid, answer me.” 

“Relax, Adler. They’ve probably got a lot of shit they’re trying to sort out right now. It’s really easy to get lost in your own head.” Mason soothed the other man, but he looked worried as well. 

Realizing Adler was still waiting for an answer, Bell gave them the most honest one they could at the moment and shook their head. 

“That’s ok. We’ll help you sort through everything once you’re a little better. For now, here’s what you need to know: you’re safe. I’m here, and I’m not gonna let anyone who can hurt you come near you. Do you understand that?” 

A large part of Bell’s brain was still doubting any of this was real, but they knew deep in their heart that Adler would protect them if he was really here, so they nodded. 

“Ok, good. That’s very good, Bell. Now, I want you to get some rest. I’m not gonna leave your side. Just close your eyes and get some sleep. Can you do that for me?” 

Bell gave another nod, shutting their eyes. They felt something prick their arm, panic seizing them and they tried to rip their arm away, but they were being held in place by the blankes. Not long after, they began to feel calm, and reasoned whatever had pricked them was sedating them. As they faded out, they could still hear the conversation happening around them. 

“God, Mason, what are we gonna do? There’s so much shit we need to sort through…” Adler sounded...broken. Bell wanted to tell him everything was going to be ok, but the bed was so warm, and they were so tired...as they finally gave in to the blackness, they just barely caught Mason’s last words. 

“Bell loves you.That’s not something that can be faked. Trust in their love, they’ll pull through. They're tough.” 

Later, Bell would never be sure if they had dreamed this part or if it had actually happened, but before sleep claimed them for good, they could swear they heard Adler respond, 

“I think I love them too.”


	4. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this...is honestly a flaming pile of garbage. It just also happens to kind of have a plot. So...enjoy i guess

“Well? Have you located them?” The Russian male voice on the other end of the phone was tinged with impatience. 

“Yes sir, I have.” The second male voice was calmer, more sure of himself, and American. 

“And? Does she still live?” 

“Yes sir, she does.” 

“Good. When the time is right, activate her. We will finally be rid of them for good. You have always been one of my most trusted double agents. Do not fail me now.” 

“No sir, I won’t.” The second man replied, blue eyes narrowing behind a pair of sunglasses before the call disconnected. 

“Hey, Adler, if you’re done with that phone call, Bell’s coming to,” Sims spoke up, looking over towards the phone on Hudson’s old desk where Adler stood.  
Adler held up a finger, speaking into the phone. “No sir, I won’t.” He hung up. “Bell’s coming to?” He asked, not giving Sims a chance to ask who he’d been talking to as he walked right past the other man and into the back room. 

Mason looked up when Adler walked in. “Hey. They were pretty good. Had a bit of a freak out last night, started screaming, but I managed to calm them down.” He’d volunteered to watch over Bell at night, helping them through nightmares and panic attacks if they woke up. He and Adler traded off every other night, sometimes helped by Woods, who had experience dealing with Alex’s trauma for thirteen years. 

“Do you know what set them off?” Adler asked, going over to his desk where they were keeping a journal in which they wrote down possible triggers for Bell. 

“Yeah, I was cleaning my gun.” Mason looked a bit sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Adler didn’t say anything as he wrote the information down in the journal, then looked back up at Mason. “Now, how’d you calm them down?” 

“I...I uh..sang to them.” A faint blush crossed his face, and he looked down, embarrassed. “Frank would sing to me sometimes when I’d freak out, and it helped me, so I thought it might help them too.” 

“And it worked?” Adler finished writing before closing the journal. 

“Yeah, they calmed right down and fell back asleep.” 

“Good to know. We’re going to try more Real or Not today, help them sort out some more memories. That should help with the nightmares.” 

Between the three of them, Adler, Mason, and Woods had come up with a series of activities to help Bell recover, both physically and mentally. Though they still couldn’t talk, they could write, and Adler was teaching them ASL as well. 

Real or Not was an exercise where Bell would write down a memory, or something they thought had happened. Adler, Woods and Mason would then review it, discuss it, and tell them if it was a real thing that happened, or something implanted by either them or the Soviets. The others sometimes sat in on these sessions, since they could also provide helpful details. 

While they were recovering, Adler was taking the time to teach them English. They knew enough from Adler’s memories, but in order to pass in America they would need to know a lot more. Also, writing in English was a new challenge. Adler made it a point to have Bell practice for at least twenty minutes every day, and was trying to get them to use English more. 

Introducing Bell to American culture was another big thing, both to help them fit in better once they were living there full time, and to help them rebuild a sense of identity. Though it was hard to get their hands on some things, being in Germany, they had enough to work with for right now. Bell really seemed to like music, so they were starting there. 

Lastly, Park had suggested art therapy as a way for Bell to process things in a non-verbal way. So, now Bell drew pictures when they couldn’t remember the words for things. It was also a great way to help them transition between Russian and English, instead of writing the Russian word for what they wanted, they could draw a picture of it instead. They had a box of crayons they used for writing and drawing, since no one trusted them with an actual pen or pencil yet. 

Physically, Bell was allowed to get out of bed and walk around the safe house for a short time each day. They were always under guard, but it was mostly to help them, they were still very weak, and needed Woods, Mason or Adler to support them. 

The three of them were spearheading the “Bell Recovery Project” as it had come to be called, for obvious reasons, they were the best suited to the task. Lazar, Park and Sims were continuing to hunt down Persues, chasing leads and following up on trials that had previously gone cold. When Bell was more stable, they would hopefully be able to provide valuable information in tracking down Persues. For now, however, the group was being careful what Bell was exposed to, monitoring them, and treating them a bit like a child. 

A small moan from the bed altered Mason and Adler to the fact Bell was finally awake.

“Good morning, Bell.” Adler spoke, moving to be in their line of sight. 

A bright smile lit up Bell’s face, and they reached for Adler. When they’d had a huge panic attack the first time they’d woken up restrained by the blankets, Adler had left their hands free. Since then, each man had to be more careful when Bell had attacks, as they could and would lash out, but it seemed to keep them calmer when they were awake. 

He took their hand, squeezing it gently. “Are you hungry?” 

Getting Bell to eat was proving to be one of the biggest unexpected challenges. With their throat injury, they couldn’t eat much anyway, having to stick to a liquid diet, or soft foods that were easy to swallow. The problem, however, was making the mistake of feeding Bell what they had eaten during their imprisonment. Anything could cause panic attacks, or flashbacks when it was time to feed Bell. The whole team had racked their brains to come up with something Bell could eat that wouldn’t trigger an attack, but so far they hadn’t had much luck. Mashed potatoes, mashed carrots and mashed peas seemed to be about the only foods they would eat, but even then, it was a bit of a fight to get them to. 

Bell shook their head carefully, but Adler knew it was a damn lie. Sure enough, no sooner had Bell shook their head than their stomach growled. 

“Bell, you have to eat. Don’t you want to get better?” Adler tired pleading with them, yet again. He hadn’t noticed Mason had left the room until the door opened, revealing the man walking back in, a smile on his face and his hands hidden behind his back. 

“Hey, Bell, guess what?” Mason went over to the other side of the cot from Adler. Bell’s smile widened when they saw Mason, since getting back, the two had developed a very sibling like relationship. “I know you’re hungry, so I found you a treat. Even Adler doesn’t know I got it.” 

That got Adler’s attention real quick. What the fuck was Mason planning? He didn’t outwardly show any reaction, not wanting to set Bell off, but he was watching Mason like a hawk now. 

Mason moved his arms from behind his back, holding, of all things, a bowl of chocolate pudding. “Park found some while out shopping, and Woods and I made it last night. We figured you deserved something special to celebrate how far you’ve come.” 

Well, Adler had seen a lot of things in his time, but he was fairly certain he’d never seen anyone react to a bowl of pudding like Bell did right then. 

The poor kid started tearing up, shoulders shaking as they started to sob. Mason immediately went on the protective, setting the bowl on the desk, and moving to comfort Bell. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. You’re alright, kid.” 

Bell shook their head, reaching with their free hand for their notebook. Mason grabbed it, along with the crayon they let Bell write with, and handed both to the sobbing person. 

For a few minutes the only sounds in the room were Bell’s sobs and them writing, before they passed the notebook to Mason to read. 

He took it gently, looking over the messy handwriting before reading it aloud. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I haven’t had pudding in years, I’m just a bit shocked.” 

Adler let out a laugh that was half relief, half disbelief at this whole situation. “Well, I’m glad that’s all it is, Bell. Now, why don’t you enjoy your pudding, and then we can get on with the day?” 

Mason grabbed the bowl again, handing it over to Bell, who took it gratefully, starting to eat. 

The two men locked eyes across the cot, and Adler gave a small nod of approval to Mason. The man had taken initiative to get Bell to eat something, and they had found another food Bell would willingly eat. 

While Bell ate breakfast, Adler cleared off the small table tray they used for Bell to write on, then went to his desk and pulled out a key, unlocking the bottom drawer where he kept Bell’s personal file. He pulled it out, setting it on his desk so it could be referenced during the exercise. 

Woods poked his head in, looking around. “I heard crying, is everything ok?” 

“Bell just got a little emotional over the pudding. That was really kind of you.” Adler explained, voice still shaded with a hint of disbelief. He knew the kid was gonna act more like, well, a kid until they fully recovered from the trauma, but each day still brought a new level to it all. Changing the topic, Adler addressed Woods again. “Can you get the others? Once Bell’s done with breakfast we’re gonna try more Real or Not.” 

Woods nodded, heading back out of the room to grab Sims and Lazar. Park was currently away chasing a lead. 

By the time the men were all assembled, Bell had finished eating and was ready to go. 

“Alright, let’s get started. Bell, what do you want to know?” Adler took charge during these sessions. Having been Bell’s handler, he knew the most about them. Bell could ask anything they wanted, nothing was off the table. The others would chime in where they could, and were also on standby if anything went wrong. As soon as Bell started to lose it, the exercise was over, and they were allowed to draw or listen to the radio until they were better. In more extreme cases, the trigger phrase was to be used, but Adler hoped it never got that far. 

Bell thought for a moment, before putting crayon to paper and starting to write. Adler wasn’t sure what to expect: this was only the third time doing this, and the last two times had basically been assurances that Bell was safe. So he wasn’t ready for the first question Bell asked to be 

“I was Perseus’s lover. Real or Not?” 

“Real.” Adler kept his voice steady as he spoke. Bell held up a finger to forestall any further explanation, starting to write again. 

“I didn’t want to be. Real or Not?” 

“Real.” Mason answered this time. Again, Bell held up a finger to pause any more discussion, writing for a third time. 

“I’m not a woman. Real or Not?” 

Adler had to think for a second, wanting to answer this in terms Bell would understand in their current state. 

“Technically, you were born into a female body. But, your parents raised you as a male, which is the identity you stuck with until you joined Perseus. He forced you back into a feminine role, taking you as his lover. When we found you, however, you were wearing masculine clothes again and your hair was short. I made the choice to keep your gender neutral when I was working on you. So, it’s up to you now what you want to be.” 

Bell nodded thoughtfully, then wrote, “I want to be a boy. Or at least, more masculine.” 

“We can work on that, easily.” Adler assured. “If you want, we can look into getting you Testerone shots.” 

“Yeah, Woods and I can give you lessons!” Mason exclaimed. 

“We’re the manliest men on this goddamn team!” Woods nodded in agreement with Mason. 

“And when you’re up to it, I can show you about how to use tools and stuff,” Sims added. 

“I will just stay by your side” Lazar put in. 

Bell smiled, writing again, “Thanks everyone. I love you all. And that I know is Real.” 

“Do you want to keep going, or call it here?” Adler asked.

Bell thought it over, then responded, “Keep going” 

“Okay. What else do you want to know?” 

“I was raped. Real or Not?” 

Silence filled the small room for several seconds as everyone turned to look at Adler. 

Adler took a deep breath. He had been hoping against hope Bell wouldn't ask this. The answer had been clear the second he had started cleaning them up the night they had been rescued. He took another deep breath, feeling like he still couldn't get enough air before he finally answered.   
“Real. But not by any of us. Perseus liked showing you how much control he had over you. We don’t touch you at all unless you initiate it, or it’s an extreme emergency.” 

Bell’s eyes were glossed over, and Adler was pretty sure they hadn’t heard anything beyond his first word. He could only imagine what they were seeing in their head right now, as they began to shake and rock back and forth. 

“Sims, Lazar, clear out. Woods, get the syringe, Mason, let’s try and get them back.” Adler fought to keep his voice calm as he gave the orders, but he was kicking himself for answering the question. 

“Bell, come back. It’s alright, you’re not there anymore. You're safe.” Mason began speaking in a soothing voice, trying to call Bell back from wherever their mind had taken them. 

“Bell, I’m right here. Remember my promise? I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Adler chimed in, worry flickering across his face. 

Woods was on standby, syringe in hand if they couldn’t get Bell under control. 

When Bell began to scream and thrash, Adler signaled Woods to inject them as he and Mason both took an arm to hold them down. 

Adler knew restraining Bell like this only made the attacks worse, but when Bell was fully unresponsive it was the only way to keep them from hurting themselves or anyone else. 

Woods gave them the injection and the drug started to take hold, calming them down until they were asleep on the cot. 

“I shouldn’t have answered,” Adler spoke the thought aloud. 

“What, and let them think something worse? Adler, you didn’t do anything wrong. They were gonna freak out over something. They deserve to know. When they wake up, we can finish the explanation,” Woods said. “Trust me, it was the same thing with Alex at the start.” 

“He’s right. I still don’t know how Frank put up with me during all that. But I pulled through and so will they,” Mason reassured. Then, his face lit up as he got an idea. “Hey, here’s a thought. What if we actually helped Bell come up with an identity? It can’t help that we're all still calling them Bell all the time. While they sleep we can brainstorm a bunch of names, and when they wake up we can have them pick one?” 

“That’s...actually a really smart idea,” Woods had to agree. “Once they pick one, we can start getting them fake documents too, which will make the move a little easier.” 

“Hang on, don’t you think we’re moving a little too fast? I agree with giving them a new name, but trying to get documents this early might be pushing it,” Adler spoke up. “One step at a time, though they can’t even really walk yet.” 

Mason shrugged. “Can’t blame us for getting excited. Bell’s been making some good progress.” 

“Until today,” Adler pointed out. 

“Fair enough,” Woods agreed. 

“But, I agree with Mason’s name suggestion. Let’s set up a white board in the main room and get everyone’s thoughts on some new names. I’ll sit in the doorway so I can keep and eye on Bell and participate,” Adler said, moving a chair into the doorway, and watching Mason make a chart on a spare white board of first and last names, with a third column for possible middle names. 

Everyone gathered around the white board, calling out suggestions for names. They all lost track of time as they had fun with the idea, and finally, they had about 70 names total on the board. 

“Well, this’ll be a nice surprise for Bell to wake up to,” Mason smiled. 

“We should all get some sleep. It’s late,” Woods yawned. “It’s my job to watch Bell for the night, right?” 

“Yeah it is. Are you sure you can handle them after they freaked out today?” Adler asked. 

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. Bell’s not dangerous, just upset and confused,” Woods assured, taking the chair from Adler as he headed back into the room, settling himself next to the cot. 

Adler and the others all headed to their specific spots to rest, but Adler found himself unable to sleep as he was worried about Bell. Eventually, he got up and headed back into the small room. “I’ll watch them tonight. I can’t sleep anyway.” 

Frank gave him an understanding look as he stood up and made his way out to sleep. 

Adler looked at Bell as they lay on the cot, still so pale and broken. Yet he knew, in his heart, that they were strong. That they could recover. All they needed was a chance. And Adler was willing to move mountains to give it to them. 

“I’m not going to fail you, Bell. Not this time.” Adler whispered as he settled in to watch them sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my Beta, who as ever, found the gold amongst the shit and helped this chapter actually have meaning.


End file.
